Finding Love at the Thrift Store

Well, I was not looking for love, but I think he was. Now, hold on...I've got to set up the situation. THEN we'll get to him.

I had already been at the thrift store for about 2 hours. I was hot, I smelled like the thrift store, I desperately wanted to wash my hands, and I seriously needed some sweet tea. HOWEVER, I had not yet looked at the stuffed animals. The aisles are so little over there and my thrift store has these big 'ol bugggies that are used (sorry pre-owned) from various stores. So, usually one wheel is pointing in a different direction or there is an unknown substance on one of the wheels or you know, just a bad buggy, but it is still probably one of the best ones. It sort-of hops down the aisle. (For my neighbors who aren't blessed to live in the South, you probably refer to this as a shopping cart). Bless your heart.

Okay. So sorry. I get side-tracked. Okay: Little aisle, big broken buggy and me. I am, as I have described in another post, what the old folks in the South call "heavy-set", so I take up a little bit of room, myself! I was squatted down looking at all the butts of these stuffed animals. For you less seasoned TS shoppers, the butt is the main thing you need to look at. You are looking for a plastic heart, a patch from Walt Disney store (or just a WDW tag in general), or a tush tag that reads Gund. At my thrift store there is a aisle exploding with plush. EXPLODING. I mean, when your buggy bumps one of those bins, animals and baby dolls jump out on you. I am not complaining. Bruce the Shark from Finding Nemo hit me in the eye this week, so it's not always a bad thing. (Okay, I'm getting to the love story, hold your horses!)

I felt someone on the aisle. I get aggravated when someone comes on the aisle, because that means I have to push my buggy to the end, let them come by with their broke down buggy, then go back and try to find the last butt I looked at. He stopped and was looking at the FACES of the animals, so I knew he was not serious competition. I kept on digging.

"Look, this baby looks real, dontcha think?" he interrupts. (I wanted to say, "I don't know? Does she have an Xavior Roberts signature on her butt?", BUT I can't be rude to a perfect stranger. It is against the law in the South. I think there is a fine or a citation or something. I wouldn't know because I have never been rude to a perfect stranger.) So, I smiled and said, "She is a pretty little doll, huh?", smiled sweetly and dove back in.

"I hear that there are folks who buy these dolls, and put them in a corner, like they are in trouble." He was now holding a life size child-doll. OMG, a creeper. How would you know that information? I just said, "Lord, don't reckon I've ever heard of that", and looked down at my pile, hoping he will get the idea that I am busy.

"Look, I think these are real shoes she has on"...I look. Just in case they are Hanna's or Keens. (You gotta look at the toes). "Well, mercy I think you are right". Back to digging.

"I use these to aggrevate my dogs". Dang, he has found a puppet that I missed. (Puppets don't have butts. It's really not my fault.) "I make them bark. It really gets my dogs wound up". I say, "yes, my husband does that to our dog, sometimes." I want to add that my husband is in law enforcement, in the K-9 special task force or something. But, that is a lie. He is a nurse. Me: "Yes, I tell my husband; 'you are too big to be playing so rough with that little dog'! My husband is 6'3 and built like a right guard, so I have to remind him that he might scare our dog". (I lie again. My husband is 6'1 and he USED to built like a linebacker. Bless his heart.)

"Let me let you by, sir", I offer. "I am being so rude! I bet you have just been too nice to ask me to get out of the way!" I want to say something about the aisle and the pitiful buggies, and the exploding animals, but then I am afraid he may say, "So, do you come here often?", so I let it lay. He accepts my offer, and bids me a good day. I wave at him with my left hand, so he can see my wedding ring.

I go on to find several Care Bears, a Gund classic teddy bear, and a BIG Dan Dee Panda cub. (Rachel taught me to look for big stuffed animals!) After I am back in my car, hands washed, at the McDonald's drive-thru waiting on my Large Sweet Tea; I think back over the encounter. Am I so vain as to think that a perfect stranger was flirting with me in the stuffed animal aisle at the Salvation Army Thrift store? "You should have been nicer to him, Vicky", I think to myself. "No, I was nice enough. HE should have seen that he was interrupting a perfect stranger, which is rude. He will probably get a citation." I am satisfied with myself. I enjoy my sweet tea with a clear conscience.

You know what, I bet when he got home, he told his wife (who looks like Julia Roberts), "Today, I saw this woman with her chart jammed in the toy aisle at the Salvation Army. She was looking at the BUTTS of all the stuffed animals. What a creeper! I was nice to her though, so I wouldn't get a citation". ;)

Y'all have a great Sunday! Hope the weather where you are is a pretty as it is in Alabama this morning!